Poison Me
by sweetkiwi604
Summary: AU. Pre-Za. Merle wasn't the love of her life or even a notch on her belt he was just another drug of choice, a gateway for excuses, and she wasn't ready to goodbye. Merle/OC. Oneshot. Complete.


**I apologize for the length but this idea wouldn't leave me alone until I typed it up. Hope you enjoy :)**

Poison Me

State mandated rehab was the last place Rhea thought she would have ever ended up but ninety days later she walked out the doors with her head held high. Not because she had overcome her addiction, or was even considering staying clean, but because she was finally free. There wouldn't be anymore group sessions droning on about life's possibilities beyond finding your next fix. There wouldn't be anymore daily routines or listening to her melodramatic roommate who claimed she was dying. The only way Rhea was able to fall asleep at night was to imagine all the ways she could help her roommate along with her little problem. It started with simple, too easy, ways at first but as her cries seemed to vibrate off the overly white walls Rhea got more creative.

That was all behind her now though as she sat in the cab that was to take her back to her place. The driver hadn't even spoken when she told him the address only giving her a curt nod before pulling out onto the street. She welcomed the silence though, except the music from the radio playing softly in the background, as they got closer to her comfort zone. She didn't think about needing to stop for groceries since her refrigerator would certainly be empty and she hadn't bothered to worry herself with any bills that might be waiting to be paid. Rhea's mind went straight to her trailer running through the rooms, mentally searching out where she might have something stashed. At this point she didn't care what it was; pills, powders, needles, anything to take the edge off until she could get her hands on something better.

The cabby cleared his throat, breaking her out of her thoughts, and she handed him a few crumpled bills before stepping out onto the sidewalk. Her porch was littered with newspapers, her mailbox stuffed with what she was sure was nothing but last notices, and the grass so overgrown that it hid the empty beer cans she had yet to clean up.

_Home, sweet home_, Rhea rolled her eyes as she dug around the bottom of her purse for the key. She didn't know what she was expecting as she opened the front door but everything was just as she left it right down to the filled ashtray. She tossed her bag on the couch and knew instantly who she had to go see.

**X-X-X**

"Thought you went high and mighty and got clean."

"No," she let out a dry laugh with a shake of her head and the smallest of smirks pulled at the corner of her lips. "Rehab is quitters, remember?"

"That's my girl." Merle nodded in agreement as he tipped out a bump on the edge of his truck key before snorting it. "Well, I ain't handing it out for free, darlin'. Whatcha got for me?"

Rhea pulled out the folded bills from her back pocket as her counselor's voice resounded in her head. _That is money for groceries, rent, electric…don't go blowing it up your nose for five minutes of deceptive happiness_. She handed it over to Merle who counted it and stuffed a small baggie in the front pocket of her jeans. He tipped another bump onto the key but this time held it out for her. She snorted it and a smile the devil himself would have been proud of spread across Merle's face.

"I'll be over later got some shit to do first."

It was almost as if the last three months had been erased from his memory and they were picking up right where they left off. He had said it so casually Rhea wondered if he remembered their last night together before she went to rehab.

_The tension in the truck was almost palpable. She wasn't even sure anymore who she was pissed at but damn if her blood wasn't boiling. The way he flew down the dusty back road told her he was just as riled up. She turned the radio on in hopes of blocking out the memories but he cut it off. Rhea shifted in her seat clearly agitated and when he lit a cigarette she plucked it out of his mouth, taking a long drag before flicking it out the window. The scowl on his face only made her roll her eyes as he lit another cigarette, purposely blowing the smoke in her direction. It was a silent tug of war. The kind they were the best at. The kind that if someone didn't break first then death was going to be waiting for them around the next bend. Reasoning and logical thinking went out the window as soon as they cracked opened the bottle of whiskey hours earlier. Since then it had been party favors and sidelong glances from others at the bonfire. _

_Rhea kicked her boots off and rested her sock clad feet on the dashboard. She knew what the outcome was going to be so, as always, she had to take matters into her own hands. She glanced over at Merle, his jaw rigid with anger and fingers near white on the steering wheel. His eyes were a sea of anger that she wasn't only drowning in but feeding off of. She boldly reached over and grabbed his dick through his jeans. He was as hard as she expected but before she could get his zipper down he grabbed her wrist and removed her hand. She let out a deep sigh, knowing that he wouldn't hold out forever but not having the patience for this cat and muse game tonight. Rhea didn't even wait a second before she grabbed him once more._

"_Knock it the fuck off, Rhea."_

_She tightened her grip just the slightest before the deep growl vibrating though him had her removing her hand. He was angrier than she thought but she also didn't feel like cleaning up any mess he would make in his anger clouded mind so she pressed on. She settled back in her seat and slid her hand in her own pants. The truck whipped around a corner, slamming her into the passenger side door. She removed her hand from her pants and glared at Merle who only pressed down on the gas pedal. _

"_Fuckin' whore."_

_Rhea shuffled around her purse for her little tin of pills she kept for times like these and stuck one under her tongue. It left a foul taste in her mouth but it was nothing like the fury that was burning through her veins._

It wasn't until she snorted the first line of cocaine that she realized she didn't miss him, at least not like she had expected to. It wasn't love. It wasn't even lust. If Rhea was being honest with herself she missed the misery. She missed him screaming at her, the fights, the late nights, and the way it hurt because it gave her a reason to use. When Merle was an insufferable asshole she could pop a couple of pills to forget. When she saw him with another girl it gave her an excuse to shoot up. Taking too much of a good thing was a sure fire way to burn out. Merle wasn't the love of her life or even a notch on her belt he was just another drug of choice, a gateway for excuses, and she wasn't ready to say goodbye.

"Did ya hear me?"

She sniffed and swiped at the end of nose. "Yeah. I'll keep the door unlocked."


End file.
